When nothing goes right....go left
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. - Melanie Griffith
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
He who laughs last didn't get it.
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